PURPOSEFUL KIDS: No Greater Joy

Once on a Focus-on-the-Family broadcast, I heard a man describe how his relatives had prayed for their family for many generations. They pictured all of them—children and adults—with arms locked in an unbroken circle around God's throne. At the time I heard this description, no divorces had ever taken place, great and honorable work had been accomplished, and most importantly, every one that they knew of in the family were Christians.

Dave and I often pray 3rd John 4 for our family: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth."  We want our children and grandchildren to not just walk with Jesus, but to be bright lights, always burning, in the part of the world they occupy. We name our children, our four sons-in-law, and now our four grandchildren one by one.

We believe that our most important role as created-for-purpose livers is to pass on that purpose to our kids—all the time, in every way. I can already hear some of your questions about how to do that:
What happens if we've not always walked with Jesus ourselves, and our children have seen our messups? Obviously the best time to plant the proverbial tree is 20 years ago, but the second best time is today. Let them see the change in your life.  Let them see the freshness and spark that can be yours but may be harder to find with someone who has known Jesus for a long time (Luke 7:47).  Let them see you run to Him and learn from Him at every turn. They'll encounter problems in their own life.  Let them remember where you went and what you did when you faced yours.

How do I know what to say and how to counsel?  This morning I was thanking God that He didn't just make us and then leave us here on earth to blindly find our way alone.  He left us His Word and the Holy Spirit, which abides in us all the time for the purpose of imparting His wisdom and giving His comfort.  Those kids and grandkids belong to God, after all, and He loves them more than we ever could. Take a minute and think about that.  He has privileged us with demonstrating Him to them. Does it make sense that He would leave us alone to figure out how to do that? " 'And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples [that includes your kids] to Myself' " (John 12:32). As you’ve heard me say before, we do the lifting, and He does the drawing.  Shooting up bullet prayers in addition to your regular time spent with God will help you lift Him up well by accessing His wisdom quickly in individual circumstances. These kinds of prayers have often helped me know when to speak and when to stay silent. When to do nothing but trust and when to act. 

    
How do I make reaching my family more of a priority? It's really easy to make good things and people (such as jobs and achievements) more important than the essential (such as our kids).  My parents were first-generation Christians. My dad gave his life to preaching, praying for the sick, and giving of himself to people's lives. Too often he went overboard on them, however, and neglected his own children. While he was ministering to others, he missed ballgames and conversations and events.

Regular prayers for our families are essential. So is seeing them, talking to them, and being there for them in regular life with understanding and a wise, helping hand. Stay in constant touch whether they're in the next room or a state away.  Let them talk. Connect with their lives. You'll know their issues, and they'll know where they can come when they need to be real.  If Dad had it to do over, I believe he'd prioritize differently. You and I still have the chance. Dave and I are working hard (and it is hard as our six kids are spread out over different states) to make our family our priority in word, deed, and prayer.

How can I get my kids to want to serve Christ? Gen X researcher Ron Luce says that only four percent of the next generation will embrace Christianity if something doesn't change.  What a challenge that is for the rest of us today. If our kids don't see passion and a life abandoned to Christ, they're not going to want it.  Religion won't cut it anymore, only relationship will. They know all they want to know abouat compromise and faking. They need the real thing modeled in you, or they'll not want it themselves.

How do I get my children to understand they are created for purpose?  Start talking about purpose to them from the moment they can understand. Verses you’ll find often on this website about who they are and what they’re designed to be. Decisions about what would best propel them toward the thing they’re made to accomplish. Attention drawn to their giftings, passions, and uniqueness. You’ll get a lot more ideas as time goes on. But just so you know, you’ve got a big role to play in not only you, but also in your children and grandchildren finding their purpose.

The biggest way you can love your child and point her toward Jesus is to love Jesus passionately yourself. The biggest way you can teach him where to turn in life is to demonstrate how faithful God is to you in decisions and in the hard times. I want above all things that my children will remember me as a mother of prayer and one who was passionately in love with her Savior and who lived her life to serve and please Him. I have told Dave that if I go to be with Jesus before he does, I want onlookers to hear new life in the old hymn "My Jesus I love Thee." The closing line says "If ever I loved thee, My Jesus 'tis now."

Love Jesus for your kids. Pray to Him every day for them. Find and demonstrate happiness in a lot of things in life, but reserve your greatest joy for the image of your whole family--all of them--in an unbroken circle around God's throne. 
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth."